Get Well, Anthony Rizzo!

The title of this post is probably confusing but it really highlights my journey and what I’ve recently learned about ‘flow’. And, in case you are still confused, life is all about ‘flow’ or ‘energy’. My writings dabble in this from time to time recanting my amazing recollections or epiphanies of thought that I feel are so advanced and engaging. (LOL!) How ‘un-humble’ of me! An experience of flow that I’m sharing with you now will give you the background of this post…and the meaning of the title.

I recently had family visit from out of town to stay at a local Airbnb. My cousin provided me with information about the location and I validated it to be okay. Wanting to provide them with a little gift basket, I mailed a nice card to the proprietor and asked that he text me so I could arrange to drop off a few items in a gift basket. I took care to write my note with the feeling I felt (joy, elation) at my visiting family. The response was amazing and I went with the ‘flow’ – and met some really great people. During our conversation, the proprietor, Mike, and I found we had a lot in common, and were amazed at how life just lays out before one if we just be patient and manage our energy (and perspective). That was when I told Mike I had one other thing I felt called to do: Send a Get Well card to Anthony Rizzo. Mike advised that I should do this and, instead of mailing any old Hallmark, I decided to post my get well message for Anthony as it was part of a larger lesson to do what I’m feeling is right based on my heart, or heart-forward.

So, who is Anthony Rizzo? Anthony Rizzo is the first baseman for the New York Yankees. Rizzo, 34, drafted in 2007, has played for a number of teams and always seemed to be a mild-mannered, affable guy. A fierce competitor. At least, as a fan, this is how he was portrayed by the media. However, Rizzo is also a cancer survivor, having had Hodgkin lymphoma in 2008 as a young man. He has established a charitable foundation to provide aid to families who have similar experiences which is very integral to the mission of his life. This is a guy that pays his good fortune forward…and backward . A class act; a mensch. After a collision on May 28th with Fernando Tatis, Jr., of the San Diego Padres, he continued to play but struggled. The struggle was really visible and you could see his frustration just mount and mount. Finally, after months of struggling, the team placed him on the injured list (IL) so he could work through what appeared to be a concussion resulting from the collision.

During this time between injury and placement on the IL, he was routinely booed by fans in the stadium. (Us television watchers would be yelling at the screen so we were far from innocent.) The yelling felt wrong because one could plainly see his angst on his face. I began feeling like I was yelling at a wounded beloved animal for being wounded. (Who does that!!??) So, I decided to begin a silent meditation or prayer for him to be better. No, not necessarily to hit better (sheesh!) but just to ‘be’ better for he looked so awkward in his struggles. (Thankfully, my bad days at work are not televised on national airwaves!) I began to speak to my husband about the energy this created for Anthony and how I thought this was bad for the entire team. Now don’t get me wrong: Booing at Yankee Stadium is a right of passage when purchasing the ticket. Afterall, if I paid those prices, struggled to the stadium, spent half a mortgage payment on concessions, I’d be booing as well if the team appeared to not care. I realized that the ‘appearance’ and my thinking about this was the key. My perception was that the team did not care. I recognized that this was MY perception and was not true. So, my other alternative viewpoint was to assume they cared – and struggled as a result of the caring. This made more sense to me as the true situation which was difficult because no one wants to watch their team (or family, spouse, beloved pet, or anything else they cared about) struggle without being able to help them. (I think it is against a healthy human nature to not help others.) This resetting allowed me to begin cheering for my team and, in earnest, the players that they would realize their dreams and full potential. (I wanted to ‘sage’ the house after the Red Sox recent sweep, too, but the hubby wasn’t having any of that. LOL.)

This season caused me to pause about what it means to be a true fan. I began thinking about how we could cheer for our teams even during the crap times. My husband and I began to really notice the booing trend – and I did not like it one bit. Fans need to be encouraging during good and BAD times. Repeat: BAD TIMES. For every up, there is a down. We need to manage both ends of the swing to be in the center to enjoy what we have and look forward to what is in our horizon. We spoke of this at length for every boo of Aaron Judge – again, who does that!? Then, the Philadelphia Phillies fans did something I wanted the Yankees’ fans to do that was truly remarkable: They ’embraced’ their struggling player, Trea Turner, by giving him a standing ovation during a particularly rough patch which gave him the energy he needed to excel. Kudos to the classy Phillies’ fans who supported their team and player. The turnaround was remarkable. Turner was always a great player but, now, he is also a Phillie.

We continue to watch the Yankees as they have a losing season but now we stick with the team. As fans, we may want bragging rights to continue. However, I decided that I want better for the people who comprise the Yankees as people. And, thus, I really want Anthony Rizzo to get well. Because, he has a lot of non-baseball work to do – and the world needs more Anthony Rizzos.

Get well, Anthony Rizzo. And, thanks. Peace.

Recovery Blvd, Milemarker 3: Depression/Anxiety Lane

As I write this blog post, I am enjoying some vacation time. My journey is continuing and I’m making real progress, both mentally and physically. My emotions are less varied and my tolerance and patience for myself – and others – is growing. I can feel my mind just becoming clearer and clearer with each day. How wonderful my journey has been thus far and I can see myself moving from Depression/Anxiety Lane to a new home on Beautiful Life Way. This will be a shorter post because this subject is really critical for people and I in no way wish to minimalize or trigger any feelings. If you suffer from these conditions, please seek help. Be your own counsel, and use common sense. My journey is my own and I’m sharing this to help others seek their own help.

I learned that I felt better when I ate sugar. Candy gave me a lot of energy; the crash was bearable because I could always eat more candy if I felt poorly. Candy led to cake and I used to joke that I could be happy eating cake for dinner. (Thinking about this now gives me a queasy stomach.) My weight ballooned as I tried diet after diet, only to be pulled back into the sugar web of desires. Here is what my experiences in life have taught me:

Moderation/Restriction does not work for an addict.

If one is an alcoholic, do we just tell them to have one less drink a day? Or, if I’m a heroin addict, is the solution “just do a little in moderation” very beneficial? (NO!) Did you know that sugar has the same effect on the brain as heroin? So, the answer to reduce your cake portion seems absurd. This does not work. In a heroin addict’s situation, however, there is a methadone solution which I equate to use of artificial sweetners. In this, I have been able to sustain my focus by using Splenda in my coffee. That sweetness has become a bit much and I’m slowly reducing my use of that product, too.

Eating whole foods that do not convert to sugar is another key aspect of my journey. It is not just reducing sugar intake, it is also about reducing how my body treats the food I ingest. Or, if I eat sugar or if my food turns into sugar, I have the same reaction: Addiction. This addiction results physical and emotional responses that can include anxiety and depression. I realized that in my changing and emerging knowledge about myself and the possible correlations to my desires for sugar, I’m seeing through the veil of mental cloudiness so much clearer than ever before. I’ve replaced my dopamine source to one that is more sustainable: physical movement.

One thing I have learned is that our obstacles create opportunities for growth. Addiction, whatever it is, may help us to realize that there are larger problems at play which are expressing themselves through our choices (or addictions). The journey to wellness is not a paved road but one which contains pot holes, detours, missing bridges, and seems to go for miles. Just remember that every journey must begin somewhere. Just start and let the beginning continue to be your guide post.

Peace.