From the title of this post, I bet you were wondering just what I was up to in the discussion of “discipline.”  Discipline in this context is more to “…the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.”  I emphasize the latter part of this definition because one may think that discipline and punishment are part of the same thought.  (Not necessarily.)

Merriam Webster – those intrepid dictionary folks – define discipline as “…a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity…” among other definitions.  However, the idea of punishment is part of the definition as a verb (i.e., disciplining a child).  To exercise discipline, however, is a type of self-control.  Curiously, the definition of self-control is “…restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.”  So, can a person punish themselves as part of their own self-control efforts because that is their pattern of adapting or coping?  (Yes, I think so.)

I’ve been doing a lot of self-study following the work of Jim Fortin.  Fortin is, among other things, a transformational psychologist.  In our world today, the terms are synonymous with being a “transpersonal” psychologist.  Transpersonal psychology focuses on incorporating all elements of the human experience, including one’s spirituality.  Many religions have hijacked this term for their teachings, too.  Transpersonal psychologists can even adopt a religious or mainstream religious theme in its teaching which, in my opinion, short changes the idea of transformation.  Like, if you don’t believe my religion, you are unable to utilize the ideas of a transpersonal psychology.  What a load of bullshit.

In a Googling of the term, however, the following was also offered: “Transformation, used in psychology (and New Age thought), refers to a major change or shift in an individual’s thought and/or behavior patterns. This type of change normally requires a major change in thought patterns and values.”  If you’ve been paying attention, you will find the religions tend to change meanings to fit with their values and we just all go along with the change or shift.  This is not happening with me because the subject is just way too complex to box into religious dogma.  We are discussing actual brain science which Fortin highlights in his podcasts and training.  If you are looking to change some habits or transform an area of your life, do yourself a favor and listen to Fortin.

A better definition for transformational or transpersonal psychology is found here.  This site defined transpersonal psychology this way:  “Transpersonal psychology is a field or school of thought in psychology centered on the spiritual aspects of human life. The term transpersonal psychology was first introduced in the 1960s by psychologists such as Abraham Maslow and Victor Frankl. This field utilizes psychological methods and theories to examine the spiritual subject matter…Transpersonal psychology is a label for a type of psychological theory that embraces a wide variety of ideas that have nothing to do with religion and everything to do with the mind and behavior. Transpersonal psychology looks at the whole human experience.”

There are so many meaning to words, aren’t there?  One needs to understand the context in the use of the word to truly understand its meaning.  Just in the above discussion about discipline and transformation psychology, I might have just blown your mind.  That is what happened with me and the idea of discipline.  I’m trying to change long-standing maladaptive coping habits that I didn’t even recognize I had created as a young person.  I began to understanding that my view of discipline as both restriction and punishment which caused me to run the other way from it.  However, if you think of discipline as a measure of self-control, the idea of discipline without punishment is very freeing.  My entire life, I have hated the idea of discipline because I had unknowingly used this idea as an opportunity to create a very negative mental feedback loop – or my own self-punishment.  (Why be disciplined only to beat myself up?  I’d rather just keep on keeping on.)  I finally realized what was happening and, after recognizing this “go to” as something I wished to change in myself, I began to pay attention to words and situations that cause me anxiety or mental stress.

It is the “how do I fix this?” that got me on the road to understanding that we all have coping strategies, and some are just more effective than others.  In any situation where change is the goal, one doesn’t need to understand the why unless the behavior is so ingrained that the brain takes over without a secondary thought or action.  It has been a slow going process which in hindsight is probably for the best.  Change over time tends to stick more with me than the instant flip of a switch.  How do I know that this is working for me? Again, time is the teller of tales.  This week was particularly stressful and scary for me having to take care of my spouse while he was laid low.  In putting myself second, I made a conscious decision and there were times where my current health goals took a back seat.  However, instead of using this situation as another opportunity to create a new negative loop, I became really tolerant of myself and, well, I cut myself some slack.  And, I really felt that slack loosening some of my old maladaptive coping habits that have done very little for me.  I created a more healthy strategy and it helped me to deal with the week.  Instead of seeing the “big picture” of possibilities, I dealt with the facts of the matter and cut the problem into bite size pieces.  I dealt in the now and did not assume anything so my expectations were reduced to nothing.  This lack of mental expectation really allowed me to take care of business without worrying for the future…for now.  I have recognized that I worry a lot about the future without realizing that I’m creating my future right now through my view in this minute.  And, the next minute.  Good habits become good over time and repetition.  Yes, it is the old saying of wash, rinse, and repeat. Just make sure you have some good “shampoo” that feeds your head in a positive way.

Peace.